1 / Intro

Our hair composition is complex. Society’s bias against coily hair is not.

My hair does not obey gravity.

It loves to frizz at will. It becomes poofy when left unattended for 24 hours. And it grows horizontally (due to the follicle’s flat oval shape), so it has no sex appeal in Hollywood.

In light of this brutal reality, my hair has been policed in America since 1786 A.D.

In 2024 A.D., my hair is regularly regarded as ugly, untamed or unprofessional by many beige-skinned earthlings who supposedly believe straighter strands are superior.

I’ve been fired from a job, harassed by supervisors, profiled by an armed police officer, mocked by peers and rejected as a romantic partner by individuals who’ve concluded that, because G-d and/or my genetic code gave my hair a higher amount of disulfide bonds, I am somehow an inferior being.

Over the decades, I maneuvered social and economic exclusion—executed by so-called progressives and conservatives—by routinely burning my scalp with relaxers; wearing a wig that garnered compliments for its wavy texture; sewing a straight-haired weave onto my plaited hair; sporting braids that slowly thinned my edges; and regularly frying my hair strands at 425 degrees Fahrenheit to attain the perfect silk press in the name of self-hatred.

The humiliation I’ve endured for my natural hair texture—plus my lip shape—from childhood to adulthood ultimately led to my being upset with my Creator. And, I’ve since repented.

To exist in a society where two of the most mundane elements of my human anatomy are relentlessly harassed or assaulted is strange, pathetic and tiring.

Thankfully, I eventually realized that these recurring incivilities aren’t 100 percent about my hair, or my lips.

2 / Pattern: Harassment Targeting Highly Textured Hair And Fuller Lips

In 2018 A.D., I worked with a supervisor who genetically identified as Chinese-Cuban and prided herself on being a progressive Catholic.

This “progressive” fifty-something supervisor—who presented as a beige-skinned, straight blonde-haired and blue-eyed woman—referred to my lips as “cow lips” and my hair as “naps.” She also used the word nigger in an attempt to antagonize me.

My experience with this supervisor wasn’t unusual in the region of America I lived in, and was typical of the industry I worked in for years.

I suspect that if this supervisor had been given ample control to dictate how all darker-skinned and “nappy-haired” women should look in the workplace, then she’d mandate that they straighten their hair to avoid being fired.

Interestingly, such a mandate wouldn’t have been drafted because this supervisor actually believed there’s something inherently wicked about non-straight hair.

Rather, this mandate would be executed by a supervisor who is addicted to exercising an unusually high level of control over a human being, because watching their victim’s reaction to harm would offer them a dopamine hit at no cost.

(We see this addictive, unhealthy and malicious behavior in the narrative of European enslavers whose profiles suggest they exhibited narcissistic, sociopathic or psychopathic personalities.)

On the surface, my supervisor is clearly a woman who feels that humiliating a thirty-something darker-skinned woman in the workplace for her G-d-given hair texture and full-sized lips is completely normal, if not culturally obligatory.

However, to someone like myself who has deeply engaged in conversation with such individuals both in and out of my family network, I see something else at play…

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